Marriage talk is awkward for most couples, regardless of how long you’ve been together. There’s always the fear that your partner might have never considered marriage with you. It’s a horrible thought to make yourself vulnerable that way. The logical thing to do is to wait until you’re engaged, and then you can make room for the crucial discussions.
While it’s an excellent strategy to protect your emotions, it’s a decision that can have repercussions on your future. Delaying discussions about marriage might be hurting your relationship in more ways than you think.
Compatible, Maybe?
Compatibility is not about sharing the same preferences in everything. It’s accepting your differences and learning to communicate well to reach a solution. Waiting to be engaged or married before tackling discussions about finances and similar matters makes you prone to disappointments. Worse, it can make you question your marital decisions.
Make it a norm to open up about important topics, like buying a house, whenever the opportunity arises. You might be having a vacation in a city when you pass by a real estate property for sale. Discussing your preference in housing, including the HVAC design to landscaping gives you both a better idea of what you both want for your dream home.
Milestones such as buying your first family home will take a toll on your relationship. You’ll want to explore your timetables and capacities long before you say, “I do.”
It’s also an excellent means to improve the way you communicate your differences to one another. Practice makes perfect, even in marriage talk.
Ready or Not?
Arguments are inevitable. You’ll argue about your savings, the way you discipline your children, and whether you should leave the toilet seat up or down. If you can’t work these out now, remember that binding yourselves as man and wife will not make all your issues go away.
Talk about marriage and all it entails to reveal your readiness to commit. You’ll want to go over how you will resolve disagreements and build trust while you’re still a regular couple. This will get you accustomed to each other’s tones and tendencies and help you communicate better.
See how that works for you, and whether your partner can stick to any compromise you agree on. It might surprise you that financial stability and essential life skills don’t necessarily determine your readiness for marriage. Your willingness to forgive and grow together matters the most.
What Do You Expect?
Not everybody enters relationships with marriage in sight. Even if they do want to spend the rest of their life with you, you might have contradicting beliefs about marriage. Confronting the traditions and legalities involved, especially about assets you’ve acquired individually, will help you decide which moves suit your preferences.
It’s not uncommon nowadays for couples to keep their assets separate. This isn’t always a case of mistrust but a matter of protecting the interest of others involved. The asset might be your family business or an inheritance. Planning gives you the time to resolve misunderstandings about these kinds of decisions and develop respect for each other’s autonomy, even in marriage.
Beyond Love
Romantic feelings shouldn’t be the only basis for marriage. For your relationship to last, you need to learn how to go through difficult times together with patience and devotion. Diving into marriage talk early allows you to work on those skills. Love takes a lot of work, after all, but it’s always worth it.